


Atlas, a Super

by jollywriter



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 02:02:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17356841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jollywriter/pseuds/jollywriter
Summary: Kara Danvers struggles with the weight of her responsibility and finds comfort in the arms of someone who doesn't need her to always be the sunshiney heroI saw an angsty gifset and had to write a fic to go with it.I know no context for the gifs I just saw it and was like HEY COOL WHAT IF THIS HURT MOREhttps://thejollywriter.tumblr.com/post/181856367331those are the gifs. I didn't make them and I can't find them on the blog that did? but yeah





	Atlas, a Super

Kara sat across from James. he was so earnest, it practically oozed from his pores. The phrase, though, the phrase struck her like a fist that fractured her composure. 

“How are you not a miracle?”

She couldn’t answer. Her eyes grew wet and she shuddered just a little. How was she not a miracle? There was no way to answer, not because she was afraid she’d hurt James’s feelings, but, she wasn’t sure he’d get it.  
James leaned back slowly. Did she hurt him? Had he grown frustrated with the conversation? She didn’t know. She just watched him consider her, and then look away. She wiped at her eyes. 

“I’ll, I’ll go.” he said. He hesitated, waited for her to say something. But she couldn’t. She had nothing to say. The fire burned up her body, the pain of being stalled on the edge of crying hurt more than giving voice to the doubt in her heart. So she didn’t say anything. 

He stood up. Picked up his bag. Left. 

Cat’s former office felt far vaster now than it had before. So many people have stood here, and tried to command the space, and they all failed. It takes a lot to occupy an office this large. Ego isn’t all there is to it, there’s power there. James had power, as a journalist, as Guardian, as a man. 

Cat, too. Cat was powerful, proud, righteous even. She filled this office and spilled over. CatCo was her, more than just putting her name on the company, her philosophy and morality carried over into every piece of this operation. 

Would Cat say Kara was a miracle? Probably, she would. She’d have something profound to say. Something right and helpful. 

But she wasn’t here. There was just a void, a big empty office with nothing here and no one to fill the shoes. 

Kara got up. Wiped her face. Took a few breaths to try and calm herself. It didn’t help, the question remained, and it hurt. 

She didn’t feel like a miracle. She felt like a failure. A mistake. 

She stored her purse in the closet in Cat’s old office, and changed at speed. She didn’t want to patrol. She wanted to fly, to get away, get some space and clear her head. And she couldn’t do that wearing Kara’s clothes. 

Airborne, seconds later, the night air of National City was cold against her skin. It soothed her a little, calmed the fire of her shame. 

She ascended slowly, listened without trying to. The night was busy with traffic and pedestrian life and people carried on like nothing had happened before. Like dragons hadn’t struck National City, like aliens didn’t live here and walk among them. 

Kara sighed. 

“Dammit!” a voice cut through the night and Kara turned her head to L-Corp. Always L-Corp. 

Lena was there. Another late night, bent over her desk with her hands to her temples, shoulders bunched in frustration. 

Kara turned away. It felt voyeuristic tonight and she didn’t want to spy on her. 

“No, I won’t let them.” 

Kara looked at Lena despite herself. She wrung her hands while she hovered. L-Corp tower grew larger in Kara’s vision and she stopped herself drifting towards it unconsciously. 

Lena stood up. Kara held her breath. Slowly, Lena turned and wandered away from her desk. Kara couldn’t look at the monitors, Lena transfixed her. Lena stood at the door to her balcony and Kara wanted to soar into space and get as far away from here as possible. 

“I know you’re out there,” Lena said quietly. “I can’t see you. But i know you’re there.”

Kara didn’t move. She didn’t know what to do. 

Lena looked tired. Frustrated. There were bags under her eyes and her brows were pulled together and her hair was starting to get messy. This was not the Luthor that squared up to every force that challenged her and out-witted them at every turn. 

Lena looked as frazzled as Kara felt. 

Kara let herself drift. Lena looked up as she approached. 

“I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop,” Kara said, hovering above the balcony but close enough Lena could hear. 

Lena’s face was impassive. 

“I don’t know if you ever actually intend to be here,” Lena said. “You just sort of are.”

“I try to go where I’m needed.” Kara looked away. “I’m not sure where that is anymore.”

Lena squinted at her briefly. “Sounds like you’ve got a lot on your mind.”

“I wasn’t trying to unload on you,” Kara held her hands out, floated a little closer. “I didn’t mean to try to guilt you or anything--”

“No, it’s fine.” Lena waved it away. She did not smile. “It’s fine.”

Kara hesitated. She should leave. 

“What’s going on with you?” Kara asked. “An experiment go badly?”

“My board is trying to organize an injunction against me. They don’t have the votes, not this time, but they’re trying, and that frustrates me.”

“Why won’t they let you work?” Kara asked. 

“My mother influences a number of them. i’m sure that has an effect on things.”

“Ah. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s hardly breaking news,” Lena shrugged. “Like moon landings and alien invaders, it is a common occurrence.”

Kara was silent, so silent Lena noticed. 

Lena wilted, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No, I understand.” Kara sniffed. “I feel like an invader sometimes.”

Lena said nothing. Kara looked away. 

“Would you like me to go? I don’t want to be rude and just bolt away.”

“I like seeing you.” Lena said. “Even when I shouldn’t.”

“I don’t know how to tell you the thing you want to know.” Kara said. 

“I didn’t ask about that.”

“it’s unspoken,” Kara lowered herself down, on the other side of the balcony. “It just hangs there, in every conversation we have, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

Lena didn’t respond. 

“I don’t enjoy not telling you. I don’t keep this from you because i like taunting you with a knowledge you don’t have.”

“Tell me the truth, I can handle that.” Lena took two steps forward, onto the balcony, closing the distance to Kara. 

“I’m scared!” Kara blurted. Lena stopped cold. Kara looked away, wiped at her eyes as they started to overflow. “I’m so scared, Lena. Of your mother, your brother. For my family. For my friends, for everyone I know. For you.”

“Why me?” That jarred her. “Of all the people on that list, most of whom you have a legitimate fear for and of, why me? What have I done to earn your distrust?”

“It’s not you. It’s the people who would use me to hurt you.” Kara couldn’t look at Lena. “If your mother knew who I was, she’d hurt everyone i cared about so fast I’m not sure i could stop her.”

“You really think I’d tell her?”

“I’m not sure you would have a choice.” 

“There’s no universe where I willingly betray that secret, Supergirl.”

“But you’re only human,” Kara whispered. “I work hard to be who I am and there are still so many things in this universe that twist my heart. And make me act against my nature.”

Lena didnt respond to that. Kara struggled to keep herself aloft. She wanted to drift far, far away, and never return. 

“I can’t imagine how scary it is to be you.” Lena said. 

“I just catch falling spaceships. That’s easy compared to being you.”

Lena smiled. “I just invent things. Avoid being assassinated on the regular. Normal stuff.”

“Not normal. I’m pretty sure 99% of people don’t get assassinated.”

“It’s not my fault the assassins sent for me are second rate.”

“Not all of them have been so bad.”

“Good thing I have powerful friends.”

Kara looked out at the city. There was a statue with her name on it, and it felt like a mockery. “James says I’m a miracle.”

“I don’t think he’s wrong.”

“He is though,” Kara whispered. 

“What’s gotten into you?”

“I can’t save the world, Lena. I can’t save everyone. Do you know what I thought of when he said that?”

Lena shook her head. 

“All the people I couldn’t save.” her emotion bubbled over and there was no stopping it. “I hear them die, and it hurts. It hurts so much. They die calling my name and I can’t save them.” 

She felt herself sinking but arms wrapped around her and she hesitated. Lena pulled Supergirl to her, pulled her over the railing. The situation had reversed, Lena caught Supergirl this time. 

“I’m a fraud, Lena. I’m not what they think I am.” Kara cried.

“You’re better,” Lena whispered. 

“I fail them. I fail to save everyone. I’m not a miracle to this city, Lena.”

“You’re a miracle to me,” Lena held her as tight as she could and they leaned against the railing, Supergirl weak and supported almost entirely by Lena. 

“I’m not enough for this world, Lena.”

“Oh Atlas,” Lena kissed Supergirl’s cheek. “If you only knew how much we love you.”

Kara could say nothing, only cry. Lena didn’t let her go. “I’ve got you, Supergirl. You don’t have to be Super for me.” 

Kara exhaled. There was peace in that offer. And she let herself be lost in Lena's embrace.


End file.
